Should you give a book about fertility and babies as a wedding gift?

by Mama Chocolate on March 21, 2013

I’ve been eagerly anticipating the arrival of my pre-ordered copy of “Beautiful Babies” by Kristen Michaelis, and this morning I found a notification from Amazon in my inbox, letting me know that my book was on it’s way and should be on my doorstep today!

I ordered this book weeks ago, so I got very excited, and went to look at it again and see if there were any kind of reviews yet. The top rated review concludes with the following:

“This book is a must for every couple who plans to have children. Get it BEFORE you plan to conceive. If you want to get it for a friend or family member, don’t wait to give this as a baby shower gift — give it as a wedding gift.”

My first thought was, “That’s brilliant! Of course, a book on fertility and pregnancy is really needed before you’re pregnant! Why haven’t I thought of this?!”

I would have eaten up a book like this, even before I got married, but then I thought over the different people who I’ve given wedding gifts to in the past few years, and I wasn’t so sure how they would take it. (Um…thanks? *awkward*)

So, I asked you how it would make you feel to get a gift like this as a wedding present…

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The general opinion was:

“NO WAY. Do not give this as a wedding present.
Way too presumptuousness, not to mention awkward.”


I am leaning towards agreeing with y’all, especially as regards this book in particular, since it is super “crunchy” and sometimes even a little far out there for my own hippie soul. Even if I knew a couple well enough for a gift like this to be welcome, I honestly can only think of a few young, as-yet unmarried people who would even be all that interested in the contents of the book even if they were already married and/or pregnant.

But this has certainly got me thinking. Infertility is becoming extremely common. We pretty much all know someone who is, or has, struggled with it in some way or another (even if you’re not aware of it, I’d almost bet money that someone you know is suffering through some type  infertility right now.)

However, many couples don’t even know about their fertility problems, (let alone what might be causing them,) until months or years into their hopeful journey towards parenthood. Wouldn’t it be helpful to educate ourselves on fertility and how to have a healthy pregnancy before we find out there are issues? I realize there are infertility issues of all kinds, and several of them can’t really be addressed until you are actually trying to get pregnant, but being prepared could still be very beneficial.

Beyond the issue of infertility, shouldn’t we be learning everything we can to make our bodies the safest, healthiest incubator for our precious little ones? Things we do and eat even years before actually getting pregnant can affect both the pregnancy and the long-term health of your child, even into adulthood! Learn about it nowdon’t just wait until you’re already pregnant!

“…most Americans spend around 4,000 hours in college; 240 hours researching and buying a house; and 20 hours buying a car… while most of us invest very little to no time learning how to conceive a beautifully healthy child. Considering what is at stake, our modern values are backwards.” - Roy Dittmann, OMD, MH (

So, while I do think the Beautiful Babies book, (or one like it) could be a great baby shower gift, it would be so useful to be educating ourselves on fertility and pregnancy before we’re already there!

Don’t worry. I’m not going to be handing out books on “how to have babies” to all my acquaintances at their weddings now. Maybe just my sisters at their bachelorette parties. *heh heh*

But here’s my Public Service Announcement:

Don’t wait until you’re “ready” to have a baby to start learning about it! 

If you ever plan or hope to have children, educate yourself now!

Here are a few places to get started!

(please note that I probably don’t 100% agree with everything in the following books and websites – but I’ve picked up a lot of very helpful information through these resources!)

Taking Charge of Your Fertility - by Toni Weschler

The Brighton Method – Helping You Conceive an Extraordinary Child in a Toxic World

Beautiful Babies - by Kristen Michaelis

Making Babies DVD Series

Naturally Knocked Up

 I would love to hear of any other resources that you have enjoyed and learned from on this topic!


{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }

Nicole @ Some Call It Natural March 21, 2013 at 6:32 pm

Totally agree it might be awkward to give to acquaintances, but close friends and family would probably appreciate it. ESPECIALLY if they are crunchy!
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Amy @ Oh So Savvy Mom March 21, 2013 at 8:30 pm

I think it would be great for some couples, not so great for others. Most of my friends were very geared towards starting a family within a couple years of getting married, and I think would have welcomed a gift like this. You mentioned the infertility issue. I can’t speak from personal experience, but unless the couple was already TTC when they got married they wouldn’t know yet, when they received the book, if they were having fertility problems. Aside from which, women who are TTC are usually just as eager as other moms-to-be to learn all they can about how to care for the bundle of joy they’ll someday have.
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Virginia @thatbaldchick March 21, 2013 at 9:17 pm

I would have to know the couple very well to gift a book like that to them.
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Amanda A March 21, 2013 at 10:34 pm

I agree, a close friend would be ok. Someone you don’t really know very well.. maybe a little awkward.
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Kerri (TheMaven) March 22, 2013 at 10:55 am

I think receiving fertility books as a wedding gift might be a little odd, but I will say that Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a MUST read for women. I learned so much about my cycles even before my husband and I wanted to start having children. Without it, I wouldn’t have known about my fertility problems and would have continued to believe all the fertility myths so many health professionals push onto their patients.


Mama Chocolate March 26, 2013 at 4:16 pm

I learned SO much from Taking Charge of Your Fertility, too, Kerri! I was completely clueless about some of that stuff. I can’t even remember who recommended it to me now, but I am very grateful!


Christa March 22, 2013 at 1:26 pm

I wouldn’t give it as a wedding gift but I would give it to my friend who just got married if that makes sense lol
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Andrea Kruse March 22, 2013 at 4:21 pm

For a close gal pal you know is baby-crazy, sure! But most people no…. I would definitely give this if I heard a couple was trying. Not everyone plans to have kids and many not right away. I was married for 7 years before trying to conceive. I would be much more apt to have a copy and leave it on the coffee table for a friend to notice. If she was interested I could then loan or give it to her. :) I’m just sneaky like that.
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Mama Chocolate March 26, 2013 at 4:16 pm

Ha! Sneaky is good. That’s actually a great idea to leave it out – nothing awkward or offensive that way, but it’s still there if she’s interested!


Danielle @ We Have It All March 22, 2013 at 9:49 pm

I love this post, and you are right – too many of us wait until we are ready to get pregnant to learn about fertility. We should prepare ahead of time.
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Judith Martinez March 23, 2013 at 7:23 am

I think that Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a good book to give a girl when she starts her cycles! That information is so valuable for everyone! I’ve had my girls read a similar book as part of their “sex education” in our homeschool because until I started reading about natural family planning I didn’t really understand how the whole thing worked. That was after having 2 babies!


Marie Johnson March 23, 2013 at 7:04 pm

I have given Taking Charge of Your Fertility – by Toni Weschler to each of my Sisters-in-law and 2 of my friends. I wrapped it up and handed it to them and told them to open it alone. I also left a note on the cover that said that this wasn’t a get pregnant book or an I want to be auntie but that I learned so much from the book and I wanted them to have it also.
I think that it was received well.
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Mama Chocolate March 26, 2013 at 4:15 pm

That’s a great idea, Marie. I could see that being much more well-received.


Amber March 30, 2013 at 11:46 am

Even though we started a family right away I would have blushed a deep shade of purple. In fact, I did when my sister, at a shower, gave me a gift that consisted of a piece of lingerie followed by a maternity top. Because “I was going to need the second after I wore the first.” I almost died!


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